Facets of Fertility
Fertility stories are unique to each individual or couple. While we share a common bond and move forward courageously, we walk our own particular path. Here you will find stories that each share a unique side of the many facets of fertility struggles.
A very special thank you, to my Fertility Family and TTC Sisters for their willingness to share their stories. I'm wishing you all loads of baby dust! - Tanika
Four Losses and a Rainbow Pregnancy
We Pulled the “Goalie” (aka Birth Control) July 2017. We Got Pregnant Beginning of August 2017. “Well That was Easy” So we thought. Out of Pure Excitement we announced the big news to the family and close friends. Only a few short weeks later I went through what I thought to be & still believe was the most Traumatic Day of my life. Our Baby Died. Just like that. Wam Bam Slam yesterday I was pregnant & Today I am not. IS THIS A JOKE? Honestly I had never heard of anyone Close to me losing a pregnancy. In an INSTANT I felt ALONE. ALONE ALONE ALONE… It’s the best word I can come up with for that day. .
No Options! Still Don't Give Up
My fertility journey began a few years back. I was 32 and began to experience very mild hot flashes I didn't think anything of it because I was going to college full time then, and I just attributed to what I was going through as stress. Little did I know that my egg reserve was dwindling silently, but I kept pushing for my degree because I had given up on ever having any children due to what I had been told years earlier.
Writing My Own Story - The Journey to Being a Single Mother by Choice
The reality was, I had no interest in finding a man. Coming to accept that this was the true answer led me to the start of my fertility journey. This clarity came in the last year at age 31, and with the help of a client who told me about her daughter who was a Single Mother by Choice. During this pivotal moment in time, I was also on a journey of self-care and recovering from the loss of Dad and anxiety fuelled behaviours. I began to regard dreams and goals I had given up on with more importance again, and had healed from the troubles of my twenties. After thorough research if this was right for me, I sought advice from the SMC community here in New Zealand and joined a fertility clinic.
I feel like I did everything right. I was responsible while dating and in relationships. I went to school, I got my Bachelor’s Degree in Computer Science, started my chosen career, and later completed my Master’s Degree in Software Engineering. I always wanted to be married and, unfortunately, only fell in love once with someone who at the end of it all decided he wanted to marry someone else. So, I waited patiently to have someone introduced into my life with whom I could find love.
“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” This quote from Epictetus has been my motto since I started my journey to conceive!
Married on August 8, 2008 and trying to conceive (TTC) for just as long, the infertility journey is a roller coaster, and no, not like the exciting ones you see at the theme park!
I was now concerned about my own fertility and needed answers. I remember going to my primary care doctor and inquiring about my fertility. I told her that I was almost 30, and I was concerned about my fertility. My primary care doctor was a straight forward, unemotional eastern European woman. She looked directly at me and curtly said, “If you want to have a baby, start now.” I was not prepared for her response. I was angry at her for not showing compassion and I was angry with myself for being in my predicament: single, approaching 30 years old with no serious dating prospects.
A year ago today, 22 April 2017, my world was turned on its ear. I received a phone call from the office of my OBGYN that informed me my blood work indicated that my pregnancy would not reach full term. I was meant to miscarry my baby at some undetermined point in the near future. I was gutted...figuratively, soon to be literally.
